I always thought of myself as a selfless person, always caring about others more than myself. I give to the poor, I support numerous nonprofits, I get involved with missions I care for–so that makes me selfless right? In some regards yes, but I realized tonight that I’ve been acting selfish in my relationship.
Today, I got in a fight with my boyfriend, regarding issues that I brought up. And do you know what I sounded like that entire time? “I am hurt by this,” “I need this,” You’re not doing this,” “I don’t feel this.” Everything that came out of my mouth was about me, disregarding any feelings that he may have had.
He’s been under a lot of stress lately, but he still busts his ass to take care of me and give me a beautiful place to live, all with a smile on his face (most of the time :-)!). He does kind things for me that I often overlook when I’m under stress, and he sets out special “us” time each and every night. He does these wonderful things, but somehow I decided to focus on the negative.
After the fight was over and I had time to cool down a little, I realized how bratty, entitled, and hurtful I sounded. I realized that I was complaining about compromising, when I hadn’t been compromising myself.
I realized that it’s easier to be selfish regarding the ones we love because often times we take them for granted.
I know that relationships are hard, and that there are a lot of uphill roads to climb, but the positive aspects outweigh the negative a whole bunch.
I’m telling you all of this because I hadn’t even realized that I was acting selfishly until I started blabbering on and on and made us both upset. So I challenge you to think about how you’ve been acting lately. Have you been showing your significant other how much you love him/her? Have you been taking time to make sure that they feel loved and needed, instead of just focusing on your feelings and your wants? I hadn’t. And I don’t want the same for you. I want you to choose “we” instead of “me”.
Now, go write your love a note and tell them how much you love them.